Somebody, Please Phelp Me
Somebody Phelp Me
By A.J. Russo
Unusual athletes, or special things that have happened to athletes, have prompted their names to be used in phrases and sayings. This might be the ultimate compliment for many sportspeople. With that said, take this sports quiz to see how good you are at knowing how these names might be used (answers below).
a. Phelp’d
b. Rose
c. Coughlin
d. Palmeiro
e. Buchner’d
f. Ali-ed
g. Belichicky
h. Knighty
i. Lombardi
j. Mussina’d
1. A coach on the sidelines of a NFL playoff game notices that the ref misses a call. He turns and pushes the tub of Gateraid off the bench, splashing it all over the cleats of players standing nearby. An assistant whispers into the coach’s ear. “The cameras are rolling. You don’t want the country to think you’re getting _____ on us now, do you?”
2. A HS coach calls a meeting at 3 pm in the locker room. At 3, all the players are seated, except one. The door opens and in comes the missing guy. The coach yells at him. “When I call a meeting at 3, I want you seated at 2:55. Haven’t you ever heard of _____ time?”
3. It’s the end of the sixth round of a title fight. The bell rings, the fighter walks to his respective corner and collapses on his chair. The trainer takes a wet sponge, squeezes, douses water over the boxer’s head, leans and whispers, “You better start keeping the left arm up for protection or you’ll wind up _____.”
4. A baseball player drops a fly ball, which costs his team the game. In the locker room he refuses to speak to the press. One reporter turns to the other and whispers, “He’s being pretty ______today. What do you think?”
5. At a national swim meet, an Olympic caliber swimmer keeps getting beat in every qualifying race. Someone in the stands turns to a friend. “This girl has been getting ______ all day.”
6. Bottom of the ninth, game tied, ground ball goes through the shortstop’s legs, a run scores, and they lose the game. A fan rises from his seat and waves both hands in disgust. “_______again!”
7. A team trades away a great player to help with their salary cap and maybe pick up a few young prospects. Two years later, the prospects fizzle and the great player is still an all star. During a game, in his luxury suite, the owner turns to his wife. “We’ve been _______.”
8. A referee makes several bad calls in a game which all favor one team. Someone in the stands turns to his friend and nods in the direction of the referee. “This guy smells like a _____.”
9. A famous athlete is accused of taking growth hormone to enhance his performance. In front of a Congressional panel he denies ever touching the stuff. One Senator on the panel turns to another. “Looks, smells and sounds like another ______.”
Answers: 1 (h) 2 (c and i – trick question) 3 (f) 4 (g) 5 (a) 6 (e) 7 (j) 8 (b) 9 (d)
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