Twas the week before playoffs

Twas the week before playoffs
A.J. Russo

Twas the night before Xmas,
when all through the HOUSE,
even the grounds crew was happy
despite junk thrown about.

Sky boxes were empty,
but none had dispair,
as the playoffs, they hoped, would soon be there.

The stockings were hung next to pads, pants and cleats, waiting for Sunday and a Jacksonville defeat.

The Ravens were nestled all snug in their jocks, dreaming of confetti — not hard knocks.

Even Flacco was smiling,
which in itself was a hoot,
at thoughts of success,
and a playoff birth to boot.

When out on the turf there arose such a clatter.
A team with little to lose.
What would it matter?

Away to the window, coach opened the sash.
Players he didn’t recognize on the field in a flash.

The moon on the breast of the turf below, Gave a wonder of Sunday and whether it would snow.

When what to his wondering eyes should appear?
Del Rio and team,
Seemed they were here.

With coach Rio snapping and yelling at his crew, Harbaugh wondered whether he had planned enough for Jones-Drew.

More rapid than Jaguars, the players they came.
Rio blew his whistle then called them by name.

Now Pachos, now Reyes, Go Garrard, Go Drew.
Sounded like an NFL list of who’s who.

Over to the goal line, the coach made them stand.
Then whistled their return, back and forth, was the plan.

As Harbaugh drew in his head and was turning around, into the room Lewis came with a bound.

His eyes, how they twinkled,
his confidence glowed.
Who cared how Jacksonville practiced, he said, as long as they showed.

But then a wink of his eye and a twist of his head, let Harbaugh know he had nothing to dread.

Because showing up Sunday was not quite enough.
Even at home, when the crowd called the bluff.

Lewis spoke not a word, but went straight to his work. Lifted some weights, then turned with a jerk.

He sprang to his car, to his team gave a whistle. And away they all practiced, like the other coach with his whistle.

Harbaugh heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight, “It will be a good Christmas, if we practice all night!”

Black Sunday

Black Sunday

By A.J. RUSSO, Ph.D.

Some watched in horror as they turned and glared into the eyes of the frenzied. A stampede was about to begin and it looked like only the strongest would survive. People in the crowd had never seen anything like it. Words were exchanged as time clicked down. Who would win, they all thought?

As time expired and the anticipation was over, the crowd rushed with abandon‹it was chaos. Several people were knocked to the ground, others scurried for safety, but most were focused on their frenzied objective.

You might be wondering who and where. In fact, when fans in the stands, particularly those in the “nose bleed” sections who were at the Ravens, Redskins Sunday night match-up at M&T Bank Stadium, read this, they will probably think the story is about them. And they could be right. More about that later. But actually, the story above occurred in a mall in Valley Stream, N.Y. on “Black” Friday. Yes, the most important shopping day of the year.

Unfortunately, in the mall story, a Wal-Mart worker died, and four shoppers, including a woman eight months pregnant, were injured, after an “out-of-control” mob of frenzied shoppers smashed through the Long Island store’s front doors and trampled them all.

One of the other employees at the mall said, right after the early morning incident, “They took the doors off the hinges. He was trampled and killed in front of me. They took me down, too … I didn’t know if I was going to live through it. I literally had to fight people off my back.”

A cop at the scene said, “Even officers who arrived to perform CPR on the trampled worker were stepped on by shoppers who were streaming inside.”

At the football game, up in the crowded “cheap seats” (written sarcastically, because there are no cheap seats at M&T), a similar incident-frenzied crowds of opposing fans, shouting obscenities at one another. Then as the clock ticked and time ran down, a push, then a shove and, before the rest of the crowd could yell, what the …. , people all around were being pushed, kicked and trampled.

Thank goodness no one was killed at the stadium.

Isn’t it ironic how we abhor the behavior of the stampeding N.Y. shoppers, but sometimes accept the drunken behavior of friends and fans at the stadium?

Rays of Hope

Outside the Game

Rays of Hope
A.J. Russo

Unexpected victories always bring hope.

In 2007, a victory that transcended sport was Iraq’s 1-0 triumph over Saudi Arabia in the Asian Cup final in Jakarta on July 29. Iraq’s unexpected win was a triumph for human spirit.

Few people gave Iraq any hope of making it past the early rounds. Their squad was a hodge-podge of Shi’ite, Sunni and Kurdish players, divided by the sectarian violence in their homeland, most of whom had had friends and relatives killed in the Iraqi conflict.

Goalkeeper Noor Sari’s brother-in-law was killed just before the tournament began, midfielder Nashat Akram’s relatives were kidnapped then murdered and Hawar Mulla Mohammad’s stepmother died two days before the quarter-final against Vietnam.

Iraq went into the final riding a wave of global passion, but were still not expected to beat Saudi Arabia, who were appearing in their sixth final in 23 years and bidding to become the first country to win the title for a fourth time.

Iraqi captain Younis Mahmoud scored the only goal to complete one of sport’s great fairytales. When it was over, even the Pope declared it would help to bring peace to the country.

***

In 2008, after 10 straight years of loosing seasons, the Tampa Bay Rays are making their first trip to the MLB World Series. Baseball’s toilet-mat, since starting MLB play in 1998, the Rays were a 200-1 shot to win the World Series before the season started.

A win against the Philadelphia in the World Series and the Rays of hope will become the first team to go from worst in the majors to World Series champion in just one season.

This most improbable rise from the cellar to the rooftop of baseball will most certainly inspire anyone who has a need to jump a hurdle in life because—there’s always a ray of hope.

***

On June 3rd, 2008, Democratic Senator Barack Obama was crowned the first African American Presidential candidate of a major party.

Jackie Almond, who cuts hair at the Pizazz Salon and Spa on Lenox Avenue in Harlem, said she was on the phone when she learned of the victory and broke into screams.
“I was like, ‘aaaahhhh,’ ” she said. “Never in a million years would I have thought this was possible.”

After all, African Americans couldn’t even vote in the U.S. 50 years ago, and lit was less than 60 years ago when the Supreme Court determined that racially separate school facilities were inherently unequal.

This unexpected victory brought races together. Many felt that black people now had a hope that they had never, ever had before.

Rays of hope—just on the horizon.

Speed – Oh My

By A.J. RUSSO, Ph.D.
As published Sept. 17, 2008

Couldn’t get to sleep last night—what, with all the excitement. So, I just hung around in the room of my buddy and let the perspiration evaporate from my stretched shell.

I’m not sure what all the fuss is about. Some are giving me all the credit, but all I can think is that, decades ago, the likes of me wasn’t even around.

Okay, so I’m fast, but a Laser? Come on.

People have said that I look cool and I “feel like a rocket”. I make people around me “feel like a superhero”. All this has made me proud, but as much as I’d like to believe … I’m not the “fastest on the planet”.

I’m not a drag, though. But it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to tell you that.

Do people underneath me have an unfair advantage when I’m around them? That’s for others to say. But my presence does exude a certain … confidence.

My life isn’t just a bowl of cherries, however. For instance, I hate it when fat guys squeeze into me before a competition. And I hate water, but spend most of my time around it. And the media … we’ll, let’s just say that it started in February on the Today Show and hasn’t let up since.

Hold it … I think I hear my buddy rustling around. Maybe he’s about to wake up. Shh … we’ve got to be quiet. I figure after a week of on again, off again – to the pool and back, I’d finally get a chance to rest.

Darn, he’s waking up. Wait, he’s putting on a suit and tie? He’s grabbing those 8 gold coins off the dresser.

“Hey, Michael, what about me?”

He left. Not even a goodbye. How soon they forget.

Burned Out

Outside the Game

Burned Out
By A.J. Russo

I started my trip around the world with high expectations of experiencing global connection and peace. “A journey of harmony,” I think I remember my travel agent(s) saying. They assured me that everything would be smooth sailing (so to speak) once all the visas and arrangements were complete. Little did I know…

To test my resoluteness and strength, I decided to start my journey with a climb to the top of Mount Everest. I know … I know, “you’ve got to be crazy,” you’re mumbling. I suppose I figured if I could make it up the slopes, it would be all down hill from there. However, I was surprised at the cold reception I got from the Tibetans. I sensed they thought of my climb as some sort of a sign of aggression. I suppose, given recent clashes in the country, the scheduling of my trip was … well, let’s just say, untimely. I wondered if I would ever make it to the top.

Then, in the next leg of my journey, I was forced to change my itinerary. I wanted to stop first in Taiwan, but was told that we had to pass right by because we would be entering a “renegade province”. Wasn’t sure what that meant, but since it sounded ominous, I didn’t argue.

Pyongyang wasn’t even on my original route. After all, North Korea’s known more for military posturing than peace. But my agents said that they had done lots of business there in the past, and that probably meant more bang for my KPW (North Korean currency).

Before I knew it, though, the trip settled down and, without much incident, my travels allowed me pleasant visits with the Aussies, Thai, Indians, and Africans.

Then I reached the pacific shore of the US.

Sunny San Francisco seemed like it would be a perfect stop—beautiful beaches, historic landscape, and one heck of a long bridge. But, when I crossed the Golden Gate, I was deluged by screams of loud protesters. They seemed to be yelling at me, but of course that didn’t make sense. I was but a lonely tourist. So I left the land of the free, feeling a little like a political prisoner.

I crossed the Atlantic and visited London, Paris, St Petersburg, Athens and Istanbul before I stumbled again—this time in Kazakhstan. I traveled through barren country where an oil pipeline was being laid. “Why am I here?” I asked my agents. Apparently the organization had big ties to the energy firms. I left thinking what a “crude” trick they had played on me.

After 130 days and 8500 miles, I arrived at my final destination. Exhausted, I looked to the sky, but couldn’t see the sun through the fog (or was that smog). Because I’m a torch, I wondered why I hadn’t burned out along the way.

Somebody, Please Phelp Me

Somebody Phelp Me
By A.J. Russo

Unusual athletes, or special things that have happened to athletes, have prompted their names to be used in phrases and sayings. This might be the ultimate compliment for many sportspeople. With that said, take this sports quiz to see how good you are at knowing how these names might be used (answers below).

a. Phelp’d
b. Rose
c. Coughlin
d. Palmeiro
e. Buchner’d
f. Ali-ed
g. Belichicky
h. Knighty
i. Lombardi
j. Mussina’d

1. A coach on the sidelines of a NFL playoff game notices that the ref misses a call. He turns and pushes the tub of Gateraid off the bench, splashing it all over the cleats of players standing nearby. An assistant whispers into the coach’s ear. “The cameras are rolling. You don’t want the country to think you’re getting _____ on us now, do you?”

2. A HS coach calls a meeting at 3 pm in the locker room. At 3, all the players are seated, except one. The door opens and in comes the missing guy. The coach yells at him. “When I call a meeting at 3, I want you seated at 2:55. Haven’t you ever heard of _____ time?”

3. It’s the end of the sixth round of a title fight. The bell rings, the fighter walks to his respective corner and collapses on his chair. The trainer takes a wet sponge, squeezes, douses water over the boxer’s head, leans and whispers, “You better start keeping the left arm up for protection or you’ll wind up _____.”

4. A baseball player drops a fly ball, which costs his team the game. In the locker room he refuses to speak to the press. One reporter turns to the other and whispers, “He’s being pretty ______today. What do you think?”

5. At a national swim meet, an Olympic caliber swimmer keeps getting beat in every qualifying race. Someone in the stands turns to a friend. “This girl has been getting ______ all day.”

6. Bottom of the ninth, game tied, ground ball goes through the shortstop’s legs, a run scores, and they lose the game. A fan rises from his seat and waves both hands in disgust. “_______again!”

7. A team trades away a great player to help with their salary cap and maybe pick up a few young prospects. Two years later, the prospects fizzle and the great player is still an all star. During a game, in his luxury suite, the owner turns to his wife. “We’ve been _______.”

8. A referee makes several bad calls in a game which all favor one team. Someone in the stands turns to his friend and nods in the direction of the referee. “This guy smells like a _____.”

9. A famous athlete is accused of taking growth hormone to enhance his performance. In front of a Congressional panel he denies ever touching the stuff. One Senator on the panel turns to another. “Looks, smells and sounds like another ______.”

Answers: 1 (h) 2 (c and i – trick question) 3 (f) 4 (g) 5 (a) 6 (e) 7 (j) 8 (b) 9 (d)

Wii-itis

Wii-itis

By A.J. Russo

Nintendo doesn’t know what to do about the growing publicity surrounding its Wii console. On the one hand, people of all ages have been jumping, pumping, kicking and punching their way to better physical shape, and the Wii is continuing to dominate hardware sales in this console generation, despite being graphically, and technically inferior to rivals PS3 and Xbox 360. On the other hand, it seems a new medical condition is surfacing related to its use.

And Nintendo doesn’t know what the effects of recent publicity surrounding the console will have on it’s sales.

An ad in the recent issue of a sports medicine journal read: Wanted – Sports Therapist, knowledgeable of console based sports injuries and how to prevent and treat them.

An ad in a local Gazette read: Summer Exercise Camp for all ages. Bring your own console, we’ll supply the TV.

An ad in a journal for the legal practitioner read: Wanted – recent law graduate, Nintendo/Wii champion. Willing to head Wii Sports Injury Litigation Division.

A recent ad in AARSP (American Association of Retired Sports People) read: Warning – don’t participate in Wii sports unless supervised by a grandson or granddaughter.

It has even been suggested that the Surgeon General issue a warning about the Wii. It might go something like this: Unsupervised and/or overuse of this device may cause Wii-itis

Recently, the first known case of Wii pain, a sports type injury picked up purely by playing the Wii, was reported.

Anthony Williams, an MTA bus driver, was out of work for over a month because he was playing Wii Sports a bit too enthusiastically for long stretches at a time. This led to extreme soreness in his wrists, bad enough to cause him to wake up in pain every night.

He went to see his doctor, who diagnosed Anthony with severe tendonitis, caused by too much time on the Wii.

In another case, Julio Bonis, a medical resident in Spain, published a letter in the New England Journal of Medicine writing that he developed acute tendonitis isolated to the right infraspinatus, warning that the popularity of Nintendo’s Wii console could make the condition more common.

According to the New England Journal of Medicine letter, he had successfully developed a course of treatment for the ailment — ibuprofen for one week and complete abstinence from playing Wii video games.

But his habit got the best of him and he eventually returned to gaming. He was asked if he was still risking “Wii-itis” by returning to his game console?

“I try to use it with moderation,” he answered, seeming sheepish at the question’s obvious implication.

A friend he talked to had a better solution. “Put the console down and get outside and exercise.”

Asimo

Asimo
By A.J. Russo

On May 15th, Honda’s Asimo robot conducted the Detroit Symphony Orchestra at a special performance with renowned cellist, Yo-Yo Ma.

Yes, you read correctly. A robot conducted a symphony orchestra.

With the guidance of Asimo, the musicians performed The Impossible Dream from the Broadway musical Man of La Mancha to a packed hall of music lovers.

Before starting the piece, Asimo greeted the audience with a friendly wave saying “Hello everyone.”
While conducting, it gestured with one or both hands and nodded as appropriate, even took a bow at the end of the performance to applause and shouts from the crowd.

But let’s face it, Asimo couldn’t actually respond to the orchestra. The performance was achieved by mimicking the actions of a video of Detroit Symphony’s education director Charles Burke performing the same piece six months earlier. In order to be effective, a conductor must feel the music, develop a relationship with the musicians, and react to emotional needs at a moments notice.

***

During one of the later innings of a recent game between the Orioles and Tampa Bay, with the Rays winning 1-0, man on first for the O’s, Aubry Huff lined a shot down the first base line which appeared to go over the bag, but was called foul by the ump. This hit would have tied the game, instead, the Birds lost 1-0.

Examples like this happen every day in baseball. Umpires making bad calls that cost games.

Purists argue that umpires are somehow part of the game. If an ump calls a ball, which is really a strike, a team should accept this and make adjustments in pitching and batting accordingly. If a foul ball is called fair, well, that’s part of the game. Sometimes the calls go your way, sometimes they don’t.

***

Imagine a spring summer night at Camden Yards. The sky is clear, a cool gentle breeze flowing across the field from the Warehouse. It’s top of the ninth, two outs, bases loaded for the Yankees. The Orioles lead by a run. The batter steps to the plate. The count is full. The crowd is on its feet.

The pitch. A slow curve, which paralyzes the batter, crosses the outside corner of the plate. Asimo, perched behind the catcher, invisible lasers marking the strike zone, with voice linked to the stadium sound system, yells, “Strike Three!”

The batter drops his bat and lowers his head in disgust. The Yankee manager raises his arms in disbelief. But there are no “Earl Weaver-like” antics. No one charges toward the techno-ump to argue.

Instead, the crowd disperses in a climate of sportsmanship and faith, knowing that the call was correct.

Okay, so we probably won’t see Asimo behind the plate or in the outfield any time soon. But the game can only be enhanced when technology is used to get it right.

Me … Retire?

Outside the Game

Me … retire?
A.J. Russo

Less than twenty percent of pre-boomers worked past their 65th birthday.

However, many recent surveys show that, over the next decade or two, 60 – 90 percent of today’s retirees will work past retirement age. And the reasons the boomers aren’t retiring are similar to those cited by athletes. After all, somebody retiring today at age 65 might live another 20 years. That’s a long time without money and career satisfaction.

Athletes who do the two-step cite that they can’t stay retired because they are still relatively young, lonely, miss the thrill and excitement of the sport, and/or are stressed by a professional transition.

In fact, so many athletes retire, then unretire for all or some of the above reasons, it’s hard to know who’s crying wolf.

***

Early in March, after seventeen seasons in the NFL, legendary quarterback Brett Favre, who will go down in history as one of football’s greatest quarterbacks, announced his retirement from the Green Bay Packers. It was a heartfelt moment, as Favre tried several times to regain his composure before relenting to tears.

But this wasn’t the first time Favre spoke of retirement. There was a time, in 2005-06, when it felt like the happy-go-lucky gun slinger was running on empty, and fans were embarrassed, certainly stunned, at his ineffectiveness. After that season, he all but retired—then decided at the last minute to give it another try. Miraculously, 2007 was Favre’s renaissance, leading the Packers to the NFC Championship Game, falling only one point short of taking them to the Super Bowl.

Physically, Favre can still play. Leaving so many fans wondering if the man who built Lambeau will one day return.

Here is part of Favre’s retirement speech and what he really wanted to say.

“I know I can play but I don’t think I want to,” I know I can play, but what’s the chance of us going to next years NFC Championship Game anyway, said Favre, confirming his retirement at Lambeau Field. “It’s been a great career for me, but it’s over.” It’s been a great career for me, but it’s over until someone offers me a bundle I can’t refuse, or a team comes along who can give me the chance to take home the Trophy. “I can play but I’m not up to the challenge anymore.” I can play but I’m not up to the challenge of nurturing a bunch of rookie receivers anymore.

“As they say, all good things must come to an end. I look forward to whatever the future may hold for me.” Was that the phone ringing? Someone pick it up. Maybe Moss changed his mind.

Favre broke down several times as he talked about his decision to retire and thanked the Packer organization for giving him an opportunity to play quarterback.

“I hope that with every penny they’ve spent on me, they know it was money well spent,” he said. “It wasn’t about the money or fame or records.” It was all of these things. “I hear people talk about your accomplishments and things. It was never my accomplishments, it was our accomplishments.” And we were two short.

See you next season?

Stumped

Stumped
By A.J. Russo

What if we chose our next President based on how well he or she could motivate a team before the big game? Here are portions of actual stump speeches (altered to fit the circumstance and maintain anonymity) given by, Barach Obama, John McCain, and Hillary Clinton, at various locations, sometime in early February, 2008. Who’s the better motivator? Can you tell which speech belongs to which candidate? Answers below.

Candidate 1

One of the main reasons I decided to coach is because I will not stand by and see our team break faith – that we would leave this team worse off than when we found it.
There is no guarantee that we will remain a great team. It’s up to each of us in our own way, in our own time, to make the contributions, to set the goals and achieve them. Our opponent will not play with the same commitment as us.

This triggers a round of locker helmet banging.

I do not believe we should be just any team who will not stand here today, tomorrow, or any day, who will not explicitly support this game.

There will be no guesswork – I’m not asking you to take a leap of faith – I’m asking you to follow me to do the hardest job in the entire world.

Sparking chants of “Coach! Coach!” from the players.

We need a doer, we need a fighter, and we need a champion.
What we have to do together is to seize this moment and give each and every one of us a role to play.

Candidate 2

I looked outside and saw some young boys tossing balls at a boarded-up apartment building across the street. They were like boys in so many cities across the country – boys without prospects, without guidance, without hope. And I turned to the other coaches, and I asked them, “Before you quit, I want you to answer one question. What will happen to those boys?” And the other coaches looked out that window, and they decided that night to keep going – to keep organizing, keep fighting for a better team. And so did I. And slowly, but surely, in the weeks and months to come, the community began to change.
You see, the challenges we face will not be solved with one game in one night. Change will not come if we wait for some other team or some other time.
We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek. We are the hope of those boys who have little; who’ve been told that they cannot have what they dream; that they cannot be what they imagine.
Yes they can.

Candidate 3

I know I have a responsibility, if I am, as I hope to be, the head coach of this team, to unite us and prepare for this great contest. And I am acutely aware that I cannot succeed in that endeavor, nor can our team prevail over the challenge we will face, without the support of dedicated players, whose convictions, creativity and energy have been indispensable to the success our team. Many of you have disagreed strongly with some positions I have taken in recent years. I understand that. I might not agree with it, but I respect it for the principled position it is. And it is my sincere hope that even if you believe I have occasionally erred in my reasoning as a coach, you will still allow that I have, in many ways important to all of us, maintained a successful record. Further, I hope you will grant that I have defended many positions we share just as ardently as I have made my case for positions that have provoked your opposition. If not, thank you for this opportunity to make my case today.

Often games are fought within the margins of small differences. This one will not be. We are playing for hugely consequential things. This game is going to be about big things, not small things. And I intend to fight as hard as I can to ensure that our team prevails.

Who would you like to play for?

Answers: Candidate 1 – Clinton; 2 – Obama; 3 – McCain